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Thursday, June 3, 2010

Jealousy approach T_T

I read it... and suddenly... hiksssss
a moment I know... I text my friend...

"aq cemburu hikkksss
:((
tiba2 ae dada ku sesek...
mataku kok jadi mulai berair
sekarang berkaca-kaca
Ini coba ditahan :(
*aq knapaahhhhh???*"


Astaghfirullah... what happens with me ya Allah...
it was just one or two sentence in my monitor... why it changed my feeling like this...
this is not the first time, but this is the second time in a month... with almost the same reason, same person... 
and I have never been in a big jealousy like this before... hiksss.... it is so hurt.... that sentence actually hurt me...the first time I felt this jealousy.. I bought my BB... hm... to cheer me up.. to keep busying myself with my friend in BB network... and I thought it works... but now... oh gosh... I still feel jealous by that little act...


I'm not supposed to be jealous (I realized) but I don't know why.. it just appears... I dont have the right to jealous.. and I dont have the reason to be jealous... but it just appears... T_T


I used to have a playboy boyfriend... but I never felt this much jealous like I have rite now... somehow... I always can maintain my jealousy... 
But now, I kind a lost control of myself... I cant maintain my jealousy... It is just exploding... so hurt... 


who is she....
what their relation?


(gosh... I feel like those jealous woman in the tv serial....) when you know exactly what make me jealous... maybe you laugh or wondering what's wrong with me.... *and I will asking that question to myself either... hiksss...*


have you ever jealous with your friend (this kind of jealousy)??


or... maybe I'm (deep down in me) hoping for more.... *Ya Allah... hanny knapah??*


I have to figure a way out... I cant let this jealousy ruin my mood in d future.. but how?
hopefully... I find a way out...


Bismillah...

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