be tough pa.... mom's need you...

hmm...
I just called my mom... my father was the one who answered it since my mom still praying... hear his voice not as usual... something bothering him.. I know... his voice seemed so sad... and my mom's covered it... I know...


pak... be tough... mom's need you... we need you to do it...oohhh... wish I could be there... 
Bismillah... ya Allah... we know whatever it is... it will be the best for us...

I love you mom.. I love you pa...

there will always be sunshine after the storm

don't know where to start.. just want to write something to lift up my worry little bit...


hm... i dont want to cry... crying is not for me... *I kind a remember this old song which always be my favorite in sorrow*

"But there's one thing I know
The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'"

hmmm... Ya Allah... apapun itu... hamba yakin itu yang terbaik buat kami... Ya Allah... tiada daya dan kekuatan, kecuali kekuatan Mu... 

apa arti sebuah nama?

apa arti sebuah nama??

dalam Islam, nama itu didefinisikan sebagai doa bagi si pemilik nama, karena itu dianjurkan diberikan nama yang baik, dihindarkan memberikan nama dengan arti yang kurang baik. Ok, kita ga bakal bahas masalah ini lagi... karena ilmu h0n kurang heehhhee...

dalam Romeo-Juliet karangan Shakespeare... quote apa arti sebuah nama disinggung... percaya apa ga' nama itu berarti banget sebenernya.... Buktinya Juliet masih manggil manggil nama Romeo. Ok, ga bakal juga kita bahas ini... 

buat h0n, apa arti sebuah nama?? hm... jelas h0n setuju banget ma pandangan Islam, kalo kasih nama ya yang baik-baik ajah... tapi apa arti nama itu sendiri, buat h0n nama itu mau ga mau memberikan dampak gambaran dari siapa yang dimaksud. ribet ya?? gini nieh... kalo ada orang nyebut Mak Na... spontan h0n bakal kepikir dan bayangin Ratnawati Yulianto my roomate. kalo ada orang nyebut monyet, h0n bakal kebayang ma temen kuliah hanny yang punya julukan itu. so buat aku nama atau nama panggilan itu dampaknya bakal jadi refleksi orang yang punya julukan. Monyet bukan berarti dia jelek lohh.. karena itu hanya julukan...

nah sekarang kalo Ratnawati Yulianto harus h0n panggil dengan nama lain kayak Desi, oops then.. I guess everytime talking bout Desi I won't imagine Ratnawati... memang itu semua butuh kebiasaan... tapi pasti ada sebab musababnya dunk knapa kita manggil orang tersebut dengan nama itu... apalagi kalo itu nama julukan... that must be have special history rite??? so buat aku... terserah apa arti nama mu... yang jelas nama itu dah ngelekat ajah di otakku... terserah mo ganti nama apapun... yang jelas it will feel different!! itu kayak kudu bunuh Mak Na dulu baru ngelahirin si Desi... terus apa nanti Desi sama kayak Mak Na??? and I guess it wont be the same... karena akan ada pembunuhan karakter d sini...

so... figure out yourself the conclusion!!!

@%$&@!$*%#@$$$@*(!!

hm...................

huh..................

kok.................

lah..................

trus................

yiaaaaaaaaaaksssss.................

what........................!!!

okay.......................

hue........................

hiks... hiks... hikss

gosh... look what you've done!!!

can we like a perspective of an individu that we made for ourself regarding some puzzle from someone we already know??? or is it true we like that perspective not the person instead??? so what make us sure that whom we like is the perspective not the person??? what is the meaning exactly???

but here a question of my curiosity??? we can like person easily... but why to get the chemistry is not that simple... what can make us get a chemistry with someone???

hmm... better I finished my task... than bussying myself with those mellow thing... hehehe ^^

My confession

pengen nangiiiiiis..pengen teriaaaak..

terkungkung dalam tubuh mungil (toeeng..mungil???!), terkungkung dalam kepatuhan..terbelenggu dalam formalitas..terpenjara dalam koordinasi-koordinasi panjang..mengkhianati diri sendiri..

berasa terpaksa selingkuh..huhuhu..sakit..

ku g berdaya..cuma bs duduk ndengerin..pasang muka datar..sesekali senyum tsungging..

am i in d correct world?
it feels that it isnt me..
I want to be free.. I want to do it by my own style..
I want to feel ME..

am i in d correct path?
am i in d correct world?

Ya Allah tiada daya dan kekuatan, kecuali atas pertolongan-Mu..

Serendipity

january 26th

Alhamdulillah.. Alhamdulillah ya Allah..

Arti serendipity itu apa y? Klo g salah inget kebetulan yg dtakdirkan y..klo g salah inget.. Tp hari ini h0n ngerasain-na.. Alhamdulillah.. Y Allah tak bosan2na Engkau berikan nikmat kepada hamba2Mu..

Hari ini banyak sekali nikmat yg Allah berikan.. Alhamdulillah..

Hari ini yg scr prediksi bkl ngendon d kantor, eh tnyata dsuruh ikut training..g usah susah mikir makan siang dech, wakakaka

Dan ketika h0n dah ikhlas kehilangan pensil ksayangan h0n..hue..tiba2 mr.migrasi nelp. minta h0n ngambil pensil ma notebook h0n..bener2 surprise abies..

Trus pas pulang..pengen jalan kaki nie cerita-na..nikmatin pabrik..hue kok awanx tebel bgt y..alamat mo ujan nie..lari lari h0n dr lap. kantor pusat nuju trotoar..bharap ad yg nebengin..subhanallah..belum nyampe trotoar ad inova item ngerem..hue..mr.fuad..hua..alhamdulillah..

Terus hubungan-na ma gambar d atas ap ya? Jawabna mudah..cuma pensil-na aja kok..hehe..tp jam tangan-na oke jg kn? Itu jam tangan hasil bajak si noph-noph..hehehe..sayang bajakna temporary..h0n suka bgt ma jam tangan-na..

Ok..that's all..hope everybody happy ^^ as happy as i am..karena h0n yakin:
Habis Gelap Terbitlah Terang..
Allah menguji seorang hamba sesuai takaran-na..
Ganbatte..bersabar..ikhlas..dan jangan patah semangat..positive thinking! ^^

Everything's twisted

Sumpek..mungkin itu kata yg tepat gambarin perasaan h0n sekarang..blom aj h0n temuin d rite rhytm for myself..seringna berasa capek..pengen rasana refreshing yg bener2 refreshing..refreshing ala h0n gt..jadi bener2 bharap val's day -jogja mode on-

Klo dpikir2 refreshing h0n mang lbh sering d jogja dech..that city always be my favorite..makananx..suasana budaya..hmm..i can hear that song..wow..

Wakakaka..h0n lg mellow..

walk to work

photo up there was just edited by a friend of mine..hmm..i dunno what kind of editing that he did..but he did great! He knews exactly what he did..n i love d way he made that picture so dramatic..beautifully in past -in my opinion-

D picture is still original, no adding stuff, just playing in color..the picture was taken candid by ksatria -my mt friend- from d security post..it was taken in 2009 when we still having ojt in distrans -if it's not there then it must be in sisfo- in d pict. it was kodok, h0n, bibi', n teteh..we were usually walk to work while we having ojt in main office..

Everyone used to walk to work..and it was great coz we had nice conversation every morning 'bout many things..now, it's quite changed, the walking member decreased in huge amount.. and my morning comes little bit so quite..

Love that moment..so much..

Kucoba menikmati...

my world has been change for the past 2 months..it's almost always 'bout work, work, and work...

This big project..keeping work anytime..*aga lebay nie..*

My private time was taken from me.. I want to have my refreshing time both for mind n body..

Actually i kind a like this busy activity.. But..hmm, it's hard to say..

Pernah g sie, ngerasa bingung ma perasaan dhewe? Dan itu kmungkinan krn manajemen diri qta dhewe yg g bener..kyk g bs menuhin target sendiri? Trus blom lg masalah2 pribadi yg g kelar2 wakakakaka.. Mungkin itu jg nie yg tjadi ma h0n..tau' ahh males mikirna..

Tp alhamdulillah d saat kyk gt Allah ngasih sesuatu yg manis buat menghibur diri..yg skrg ini h0n bner2 ngerasa g dhewe ngeliat temen2 mess h0n, yg entah knapa berasa ad ajah buat h0n in d emergency state.. bikin seneng bikin tharu..

Hmm..alhamdulillah..

aku capek, bingung... dan ku terharu...

dear blog,

hm... hari jumat, 8 januari 2010, mungkin jadi salah satu hari bersejarah buat h0n, lantaran emotion involve-nya sangat banyak. di kantor para bos lagi seneng2nya kasih tugas, termasuk si big boss, di lain pihak lepi h0n ini nie masih rewel, tampilan layarnya stretch melebar ga karuan, bisa dipake buat nulis blog ajah dah syukur2 alhamdulillah. alhasil h0n kerja make laptop si boss -ingat, h0n punya 1 big boss dengan 4 boss, kebayang ga??-.

tapi sore itu si boss ngasih mandat untuk nyerahin lepi-nya ke sisfo untuk ditambah ram-nya -perlu diketahui lepi si boss itu lebih lemot dibanding si yayangku ini- sejak sore itu h0n binggung banget ngerjain tugas nya kayak apa nie... mulai dari nyoba kompie orang -yang ternyata masih pake microsoft 2003 and ga ada m.access-. padahal khan h0n paling butuh itu kalo mo verifikasi, padahal pertanyaan progress verifikasi ngalir terus lewat hape. alhasil h0n bakal di kasih desktop... oke itu juga boleh yang penting h0n bisa kerja.

tapi desktop itu pun baru siap jam stegah delapan gitu.... hueee... mulai kerja jam berapa nie.... mana d kantor pula, ga bisa dibawa pulang... soalnya yayang h0n khan juga masih rewel... hueee... duh perasaan dah ga karuan dech waktu itu.. pengen escape ajah makan enak, atau menghirup udara segar... stelah si boss pulang jam stengah sembilanan gitu... h0n dah nyuruh bapak2 OB yang diperintahin nungguin h0n buat pulang duluan ajah... h0n dah biasa d kantor dhewean... -dan itu mang bener apa adanya-

udah mulai jam stengah sepuluh, hueee... aku dah capek banget.. kerjaannya baru 50% kelar... trus h0n baru kepikiran... pulangnya gimana yach??? mulai kepikiran si rendro -wakkakkakkaa, ini orang mang bagian transportasi....hehehhehhe...- tapi pasti dah pulang tuh rendro nya.... sapa yach???

h0n dah capek banget waktu itu... lantaran kerjaan belum selesai, pikiran dah mulai enneg liat angka angka -jadi inget UAS-nya pak Nugi yang Design Experiment itu... hueee... enneg beneran- trus... bingung pulang ma siapa nie??? jalan kaki sih bisa.. tapi ini khan dah jam 10 malam.. masak jalan kaki???? kalo jam 9 masih oke lah.... h

h0n mulai kepikiran teman teman mess h0n yang deket lah ma h0n, mari kita urut my struggle to get picked up by someone... seperti biasa h0n punya koko yang suangat baik hati... tapi sayang nie koko ga merespon telpon h0n... trus h0n telpon temen rumah koko yang notabene juga temen h0n yang h0n ga pernah ngerasa sungkan ma dia.. si TTT hmm... diangkat thanks God.... *btw ini kondisi baterai dah sangat low yach.... itu juga yang bikin h0n bingung*... TTT lagi di luar... di bandar buat... ama si koko ternyata... trus h0n cerita ma dia.. h0n tanya m.amed ada ga... dan ternyata m.amed ada di rumah tapi ga ada kendaraan... hiks... akhirnya di suruh telp Kodok...

telp lah si kodok... aduuuhhh nie orang ga ngangkat ngangkat... bete banget.... rasanya dah hue.... can't describe it dech... telpon kakek.. -bukan minta jemput sie... ya ga mungkin lah minta jemput.-. cuma cari tempat cerita ajah... tapi masih lagi di luar... hiks... trus h0n telpon Noph.... hue... ternyata noph noph lagi keluar ma MRQ... hue... padahal last choice h0n khan si MRQ ini... hueee...... mana jauh k padang lagi.... hiks....  trus telpon Dora... hueee.... dora lagi kencan nie kayakna.. kok ditelpon dimatiin... huhuhuhuh.... antara mau telpon apa ga... h0n akhirnya nelpon juga si Raden... yiaaaaakkksss... dah dibelain telpon ternyata orangnya juga lagi keluar,.... wakkkkkkssss...

aku butuh temen.. aku butuh temen... *soalnya lampu kantor dah kumatiin dan h0n lagi proses ngunci kantor, dan ini pun ga sukses sukses lagi* hiks.... telpon lah h0n ke m.amed... walopun kutahu dia ga ada kendaraan tapi siapa tau dia bisa menolongku.. akhirnya ngobrol dan seperti biasa di rekomen TTT ato koko... tapi khan mereka lagi keluar.. dengan menenangkan... m.amed bilang mereka dah otw sini... dan alhamdulillah... ternyata mereka mang dah pulang...

so in the end.. si koko yang buaek hati itu jemput h0n.. hm.. rasanya lega gitu... terharu juga... punya temen2 yang baik banget.. temen2 mess ini..

guys... there is no word to describe our relationships.. this bond is made just like it has to be made... and I'm so happy being part of it... from the beginning you're never made me feel alone... I'm so happy having this family bond!!!

yah.. ingetin h0n ajah.. supaya ga kebacut ngerepotinnya... ya... hehhehehe.... di jalan itu.. hue... isinya... curhat ngamuk dech... kayakna... dah yang pengen ngeluap ajah perasaan nya... ampe depan pintu rumah.. dah ga ketahan dech.... hehehhe... masuk... langsung breeekkk.... ku butuh ngobrol... si beruang... lo kemana sie???? si ms. ada dech... buju busyeeettt dah jadi sleeping beauty... bangun sie.. waktu di telp tapi khan ga enakkkk suaranya dah suara orang mimpi... rendro kayakna bisa nie... wakkakakka... setelah marah2 ga jelas ma rendro.. h0n akhirna terkapar.. di kasur lengkap dengan seragam dan kaos kaki... hueee......

nah... lega dech... sekarang... oke... I have to take a shower then go to work... hiks...

have a nice day h0n... have a nice day guys...

Bismillah...

Baru kusadar...

Baru kusadar... betapa ternyata kehadiranmu sangat berarti bagiku...

Baru kusadar... betapa ku merasa kehilangan...

Baru kusadar... betapa ternyata tanpamu, hampa sudah kurasa...

Baru kusadar... betapa kumerasa bodoh menghiraukanmu...

kau tempatku mengadu sepi...

kau tempatku berbagi tawa...

kau tempatku berbagi amarah...

kau jua tempatku mencari hidup...

tapi engkau begitu tak kupedulikan...

tapi engkau begitu tak kujaga...

kini sudah kurasakan... 

maafkan aku....

ya Allah semoga cepat kau pulihkan dia...

Sweetie, get well soon yach...

*Lepi ku sayang.... buktikan bahwa kamu bukan ac*r-acer yang mereka omongkan, I know you're more than that...ganbatte Lepi* 

My weekends and holidays

So... I was trying to make my photo album of my weekends and holidays... and these are severals picture full of moment of mine... all of them were taken in the weekends or holiday... several of them when I was attending baralek, teteh's bachelorette party, crazy saturday nite in taplau, safari idul adha, biking day, noph-noph b'day party, and another moment in weekend... I tried to collect them and arranged it like this. so... guys, it's been a nice weekend with all of you... full of memories.. and all of them is totally unforgetable...

hon's with love...
thank you very much

It's so crowded here...

First of all, I'd like to say:

Happy New Year Guys ^^

hope 2010 be a better year for you, me... and all of us! won't repeat the same fooleries, won't do the same mistake, and will try the best for ourself, others... and be more positive in thought and in actions!! bravo 2010!!!

so some overview, between new year eve up to new year holiday.. hope this story can bore you and accompany you to your lovely dream... hehehhe...

New Year Eve

in the wrong place and time *but it wasn't wrong at all*

so.. it's all begin in the evening, while I was in the office... it was ticking time up to the deadline of the go live event of our new ERP system... it was so many things unready... the consultant asked me regarding on the document signed in... it was one person left to sing in... meanwhile my procedures were rejected by my big boss, he said I had to questioned regarding on the need of his signature...

okay, I called the one person left to sign in, asking where he were so that I can meet him and get his signature... he was in the PSM... yippy... this meant I get one step to get over 2 building (get signature and discussed about my big boss rejection).

I went to PSM... got finished my two task and I ready to go, until the bigger boss called me questioned me regarding on the vendor data.. and voillaaa... he said "h0n you have to stand by tonite". "Whaaaaaaaaaatttsss" with confused yet so surprisings feeling I got totally blank.

Yes.. that meant I have to be there... in the new year eve. that didn't mean I already had my planned to spend new year eve, because for me new year is just like the changing of the year... the changing of the date... the changing of the day... the changing of the month.. that's all nothing special, except that new year means it's holiday!!! but that didn't mean that I like to be awake up to dawn without knowing what to do either. I'd like to spent my nite by sleeping or do something else for myself... huhuhuhu..

So... that 4 more hours I was spent it by attending a meeting, while me my self busying myself doing my task. and in the changing period... we have this party of go live new system... it was so party *I guess* lot of snacks, hot drinks, and games.. So, I kind a enjoy it.

I preferred to join with our partners from java company.. in the smaller room, sitting there, discussing about the ERP system.. oh ya.. they were IT people... all of them except me.. but it was interesting chat!!! ^^ and voilllaaa.. it is 2010.

after the party.. I guess I chose the wrong person to be go home with.. ya.. he said he will go home soon.. but apparently... he wait until the boss were going home... huhuhuhu... beside that he left me to have mobile chat with his wife... huhuhuhuuhuhu... poor me... so I went home at 2 a.m!!!

New Year Holiday

got fooled and walking in the crowded street *so tired*
So... in the morning.. I wake up, tired, but Ike asked me to go out with her to town to buy something for her mobile.. but we'd like to go to Red Bean first to have lunch... and we were so hungry that time... and we'd like to go by public transportation coz we were too exhausted to walk as usual. the problem we didn't know which angkot *public transportation* has this route. so we stop an angkot, we're asking to the driver whether he went to PH or not. he said confidently "yes".
Okay.. we jumped in to his car... and then we find his route was tremendously weird and taking us more far away from PH. we're asking again... and he keep saying yes... and we believed in him... but then it was more far away up to a place of nowhere for us... a place that we were never been there.. tehn we asked to one of the passenger.. she said... this angkot didn't have PH route... whatttsss.... we were so pissed... and then he stop and he said  "that its". what??? I got so much anger inside until I lost my appetite... So hate that kind of people...

But Voilllaaa... we paid our anger with this...
Sup Kepiting Asparagus, Nasi Goreng Seafood *but not too seafood* and Bubur Ayam apalaaaah gitu..
And we're also having Shanghai Ice.. Yummy..

after having our anger released in the Red Bean we were walking money-less to the atm, but to get there we have to struggle in this crawded street full of people walking and stop, car, and motorcycle park and not...

and.. damn we got so exhausted seeing this kind of view... no more walking in that street again dech... huhuhuhu...

mini matic, giant riders... giant matic, mini rider...

there is matic's motor trend in my environment, this happened since many of my MT friends bought a new motorcycle and most of them choose matic!!! but in my opinion there are some funny view when seeing them riding it. 

Mak Ratna Quwh (MRQ) -she hate when I called her Mas Ratna, and since I didn't want something bad happened while I was sleeping so... it becames Mbak Ratna or Mak Na... hehhehe- bought her matic motor, M*o. that motor is quite small but it's nice... enough fot the explanation.. coz you won't get it if you're not seeing the pic... so here we go:

In the photo up there is MRQ as the rider and me, h0n in the passenger seat. see... how mini that motor and how big we are, that's why I called it Mini Matic, Giant Rider...

But, there is another funny picture regarding on matic issue. one of my friend bought another matic but from different manufacturer, it was V*rio. actually there was nothing wrong with him and the vario, coz he kind a big so that v*rio is fit to him. but it became something else when his girlfriend not girlfriend was riding on his motorcycle. let see...

Ok... now, you see why I called it so funny view right. she so mini meanwhile the motor cycle is quite big. this why I called Giant Matic, Mini Rider... no offense guys.. this is just for fun mbak ^^

oK.. that's akk guys... happy riding on matic...

I am so happy having lot of friends who already have a motor... let's go round guys... ^^