What a day

today I supposed to be so happy since I have opportunity to visit beautiful island like Sikuai island with friends... and I supposed to write my blog with my cheerful and so great story in Sikuai... but then I dont know why... lot of things happened.. lot of things come in mind... seeing the beautiful beach.. just watching to nowhere... really surprised of what Allah created... subhanallah.. it was so peaceful.. then it makes me think a lot of thing... suddenly I became so mellow... everything come in mind... make me wonder... wonder and wonder... ya Allah.. I do believe that You have something beautiful for me... something to wait for... something that may be I'll be getting it by patient... I believe all of it... my belief for You... for Your Kindness which make me strong... and Ya Allah please lead me stay in believe... to stay stand...


and then when a way back to Padang, in the boat... I feel something different... it's very different from our way to Sikuai.. more silent... and it was cloudy.. and so silent... make me more mellow...


and then we went to Red Bean to have some dinner... and something also happened... an earthquake not really big one... not make us stand and run... but it quite worrying me... even I stay calm.. coz since I saw the electric pole was shaked... quite worrying me more...then plus the lightning... my friend was quite shocked... the earthquake just fine... but I dont know why... all of things happened today.. just make me think a lot of things... my past... my future... what I have to learn from my past and for my future... and what path should I take for my own goodness for my future..


ya Allah... please let someone take me out from here...

Nonton Bola Bareng

baru pertama kali ini nonton pertandingan piala dunia di tipi... biasane seh cuma dipake buat background ajah... pertandingan hari ini yang kita tonton tuh Jepang vs Paraguay... dukung Jepang!!! *update ini sekarang lagi mo adu penalty nie...*


ok short story yah... yang lagi di depan tipi nie.. ada hanny, bibi' nito, dan MRQ... tipi lagi nyalain bola... tapi sebenernya... secara fisik kita memang ada di ruangan dan bahkan di atas sleeping bag yang sama, tapi we do different activities loh... yang bikin kita nyatu cuma sleeping bag dan tipi dengan bolanya...


bi' nito lagi asyik nonton dead note 3 (film jepang yang tentang buku kematian, dimana setiap nama yang tertulis di notes itu pasti mengalami kematian), hanny as u know lagi asyik ngeblog sambil update twitter... MRQ lagi telpon telponan ma calon bojo sambil sekali sekali ikutan nonton death note dan bola...


nah si bi' nito nie gampang takut... hiyaaah aneh mang, tau takutan tapi tetep ae nonton death note.. jadinya sesekali minta ditemenin nonton....hanny yang lagi seru mainin twitter kecewa hebat... lantaran ga d BB ga d laptop twitternya ngehang.. padahal pengen update bola... so banyakan akhirnya nonton bola dengan serius.. hehehhe.... MRQ ini nie yang lebih banyak nonton bola nya sambil bahas lewat telpon...


hiyaaah.. jepang mainnya lumayan bagus... suka.. sayang ya kudu adu penalti... ihhhh deg degan nie.. skor sekarang 1-1....dan akhirnya one shoot missed and japan lost... but it's okay... SALUTE for Japan... they play TERRIFIC....


okay... time to sleep, tomorrow it's a big day... I'm going to Sikuai island (hope it's true)
now, the problem how to arrange the bed for three... wakakakkakka...
bub-byeee....
hanny with love...
nice game guys!!! really... proud of you as the Asian's representative in world cup!!!

My milad -part 2-

uhuk..uhuk.. ehm... sebenerna miladnya udah lewat sieh... tapi berhubung kemaren dibikin my milad -part1- so kusu ada my milad -part 2- nya dunk... klo kemaren lebih banyak hanny cerita di malam pergantian usia hanny, sekarang hanny lebih pengen cerita pas hari nya... (day-nya lah) hehehhehe... 

jadi hanny setelah pergantian usia itu.. coba bubuk lagi.. agak susah sieh.. soale dah terlanjur kebangun... tapi alhamdulillah bisa bobok lagi... dan alhamdulillah bisa bangun on schedule... buka mata seperti biasa ngecari hape buat matiin alarm sekalian liat jam... karena banyak icon yang muncul (lebay nech) so dbukain dech satu satu.. lagi lagi temen-temen hanny (mang mo ngarep sapa lagi d: ) sepanjang sahur ampe berangkat kerja... mulai sms, bbm, bbm-grup, fesbuk, ampe telpon... lengkap dech pokok e...  sekali lagi makasih teman-teman ku...


pagi itu bener bener suasana hati sedang sangat suangat baeeek... bawaannya seneng terus... senyum teruss.... dan memang sih... sepanjang hari itu hanny terus terusan liat hape hanny... bis temen-temen lucu... kadang malah agak nyebelin... but in a funny and sweet way... ampe tuh BB hanny silent all day karena berisik nya... maklum temen2 MT pada ribut d bbm grup... ribut ngucapin plus pada jahil... kayakna hari itu mereka kengangguren dech... hehehehee.... seharian sibuk bacain notification fesbuk d hape... belakangan ini hanny mang agak lowong kerjaannya... pokoknya bener2 feels different.. feels so happy...


gimana ga mo happy... sepanjang hari itu... banyak yang ngedoain hanny... doanya baek baek lagi... karena itu seneng banget... paling seneng kalo nerima ucapan plus doa... walopun mungkin doanya standard "wish u all d best" tapi buat hanny itu udah sangat berarti... teman.. makasih doanya...


berharap setiap hari ulang tahun... sehingga setiap hari banyak yang mendoakan juga ^^
ya Allah, syukur alhamdulillah... 
for all those prays... thank you... amin amin Ya Allah

My milad -part 1-

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim

hari ini hanny milad nie ^^ *smoga sisa umur hanny lebih bermanfaat dan mendapat barokah dari Allah SWT, bisa berbakti kepada orang tua, berguna dan membahagiakan orang sekitar, bisa membahagiakan suami dan anak 'future pray', amin*

tadi malam, hanny sama sekali ga kepikiran macam2 buat malam pergantian umur hanny ini... pikir hanny, tidur...besok pagi kudu bangun pagian, karena mo sahur dan bla bla lainnya, bener ga ada pikiran untuk bangun malam, yahhh secara single gitu lohhh...kalo tahun tahun sebelumnya pasti ada acara bangun teng jam 12 buat seremoni... nah sekarang skip dech... mo bobok...


eh... hiyaaah... dasar ya!! tuh BB ribut ae kerjaannya... tuing-tuing... teretteteng... klik.. klik. BrrrBrrr*getar* bunyi ae... awal2 cuekin ajah kan... tapi bukannya malah berhenti...teutep ae ribut tuh BB.. dari segala bunyi bunyian keluar.. mbek.... gukguk...meong... mowwww... krik krik krik... ngik ngik ngik.. mang lo kata BB hanny kandang hewan... ckckckck.... 

akhirnya nyerah juga dech... akhirnya sleeping beauty terbangun dari buaian mimpi indah *btw mimpi apa yah...ga penting dech* ternyata temen-temen hanny menyapa dan menghaturkan segala doa melalui bbm, bbm-group, twitter, fesbuk... huee... some of the message... so melting... some others so nice and funny... terharu hanny dibuatnya... untung hanny lagi ga pake mascara so ga item-item tuh mata *waaaks ga nyambung* then I realize... betapa sayangnya Allah sama hanny... tahun ini Allah ga hanya kasih satu buat nemenin pergantian ultah hanny.. tapi Allah kasih lebih buat gantiinnya... Alhamdulillah... segala puji dan syukur kepada Allah SWT... 

thank you guys... it means a lot.. 
Alhamdulillah ^^

kok bisa yah...

malam ini temen h0n ad yang nginep di mess... lantaran ditinggal temen mess nya dinas luar kota... 
okay, dia ini dah punya cowok... long distance gitu... kalo malem suka nelpon... hari ini... dia kayakna lagi semangat banget tiduran di kasur h0n... sambil ngocehin isi majalah.. okay short story... cowokna nie dah tidur... padahal dia lagi pengen nelpon... terus akhirna dia nelpon temen cowok e yang lain... yang aneh tuh...

kok bisa bisanya dia manja ma temen cowoknya? -__-a

hiyaaaah... bener aneh... ga bisa aku bayangin diriku manja ma temen cowok (not special one yah)...
pertama... aku nya mang males... ngapain manja ke temen ku... lagian kalo manja ke temen cowok biasa na kalo ada permintaan... manjanya pun ga yang mendayu dayu gitu kaleee... 
kedua... kalo pun aku manja... ga bisa bayangin ekspresi temen2 cowokku.. sebut ajah.. kodok, beruang, koko, doraemon... hue... bakal di hina dina diriku... diinjak injak pula... diketawain ampe puas kaleee...
hiyaaaahhh... mang orang tuh beda beda yah... yo wes lah.. pusing kalo dipikir dalem dalem...

tattaaaa.....
h0n -serious in front d office's laptop... hearing the weird convey ever!-

teman-temanku dan kelainannya

hi guys,

in this post, I'd like to introduce my friend from my lovely lab. when I was in college... but of course in a very un-ordinary way in introducing them... by photos that I will share in below... and little bit story of their weird activity...
actually... there was... oops... there is issue around my friends (especially the boy friends)... the issue is whether they are gay or the just like being gay... or they just like watcing gay stuff... hehehhhe... yiakkkss really... but we should take our friend just the way they are right... hehehhe... so let's here some facts:

first, yup... I guess they or one of them or I dont know who... like to watch gay stuff... this was proven by the files which contains gay stuff in our laboratory's computer... whoaaaaa.... who did that... who kept those files... wakakkkaka... still mistery...

second, hehehhhe...I think they like each other... but... I dont want to describe in word... but I know how to describe it in a better way to understang it... here we go...

 beruang and mas SapuLidi's son

 The picture up there... was one of happy moment together... see how happy they were... xixixixi...

 

Jale and beruang nepsong

hiyaaa... another beruang photo with male... now.. it's jale turn... see how "cool" jale and how passionate beruang was... wakakakka.. and this picture was taken in mall!!! daaaang!!!

my lab boys... beruang-kiddy*dont know the name*-pak de-probo

Actually picture above.. not related with our gay topic... but I open my file, I fount that picture and I like it... is so funny... 

If we think deeper... I found that my close friend in lab which quite normal is just probo... coz in my D500's mobile file... I couldn't find any abnormalities in his picture... so bravo probo!!! but still I will search in my another file.. so beware... wakakkaka...

okay that's all for this post.. so u already know severalof my friends.. hopefully in the future I'll give another funny pict of them... xixiixixi ....bub-byeeee

hanny

saturday nite -after discussion in SMSI 4 thn yg lalu Grup- 

hope you like it guys...

five years ago

almost in axact time, 5 years ago, me as a student, I got sick...  my throat I didn't know why but sometimes it got so itchy.. and not just that I also got a cold... but the cold wasn't that bad... the itchy throat was the worst... coz everytime my throat got itchy I always got cough -terrible one-... it was so terrible until everytime I cough... I cough till cry... and it was also take effect on my voice... I have terrible voice just like old people... so scary.. and it all was happened for almost a month... even in my birthday... that's why I called it it almost 5 years ago...

so it was started on late may, I guess... I have the  symptoms after I joined as a surveyor for a BUMN in Gresik... the job was easy.. sit watch people and make markings in our work paper... coz that simple and lot of time needed there.. I kind a seldom to move my body.. no exercise at all... since that I have to start at very early morning and came home late... then sleep... no exercise at all... but tired! then after the survey comes the time training in my lab... and that was how I got my terrible itchy throat...

mami dan dunianya...

bisa di kata mami h0n ini termasuk mami yang suangat manja ma anak-anaknya... pengennya deket terus ma anak-anaknya... dan berhubung h0n satu2nya anak perempuan mami, so mami memang deket banget ma h0n.

masa perantauan h0n di Sumatra ini jelas menyusahkan mami...dulu bawaannya pasti nelpon melulu...tapi berhubung mang dasar si h0n-nya yang kebacut cuek... *susah dpegang buntutnya -mang kucing?-* dan waktu awal di padang h0n mang lagi keasyikan abis ma temen-temen gank bejo (btw sekarang pada bubar tuh gank bejo... padahal dulu kita seru banget... spontanitas tinggi... nekat juga superb!!)... jadi waktu itu pas sering nelpon pasti pas lagi rame-rame... hehehehhe... jadinya frekuensi nelpon minimal biasanya 2x seminggu... wiken 1, hari kerja 1... hehhehe...  soalnya mami punya kecenderungan ga suka ngobrol kalo h0n lagi ma temen... padahal kan biasa ajah kalee... hal ini disebabkan my mom has her own world!!!

h0n klo ma temen sangat terbuka kalo perihal keluarga *yup! h0n termasuk family man oops family woman ding!! hehehe* jadinya temen-temen familiar sama keluarga h0n, dan mami h0n familiar juga dengan temen temen h0n... walopun cuma lewat cerita cerita h0n ajah... dan berhubung h0n sukanya jahil so h0n seneng ajah... introduce my mom to my friend via phone or else... dan ini membuat mamiku semakin salah tingkah... so she kind a has her own thought about me and my friends.. or about what my friend's thought!! dengan kata lain kadang suka keGeEran dhewe hehehehe... dan karena itu kadang keliatan malu malu... hehehehehhe... dan h0n paling suka ngeliat nya lucu... hmmm.. jadi kangen mami.... 


sekarang mami sudah punya BB, tapi BB messengernya blom aktif... so h0n kenalin lah ma YM... h0n add beberapa teme h0n dan sepupu... actually temen yang di add ke tempat mami ga banyak kok... sumpah duikit buanget... dan as per my description above... she has her own world... her own thought and it is so funny... 


jadi ceritanya mami h0n mulai pinter pake YM nie... dah bisa ganti status... main sembunyi sembunyi pisan... ini nie yang aneh... ngapain pake dimatiin segala... and yup... takut digodain temen2ku katanya... hiyaaa... padahal temen2 h0n tuh.. sama juga kayak mami... pemalu kaleee.... cemen pisan!!! wakakkakka... ga semua... some of them.. :P susahnya nie.. kalo h0n bener2 butuh diskusi ma mami nie.. pasti susah.. nie mami onlen ga sih... ?? gitu dech.. but overall that YM really help.. telpon sih tetep minimal 2x seminggu.. tapi YM-annya sekarang yang jadi sering -tiap hari- dan ngobrolnya juga lebih enak... hehehhe.. kayak ma temen.. diskusi juga lebih seru... hehehhhe... hmm... jadi kangen pulang ^^


mamiku sayang, pujaan hatiku yang paling dalam... 
hanny kangen....

Pre-wed photo session

this is one of our pre-wed photo session picture about a month ago... taken in our campus parking area it was Cimol (the bride), deper, me, and kumun... I remember I was the one who arranged the style and pose... nice right.. unfortunately it is the resize one (let's blame beruang from not giving us in the real size :( huhh!!)

actually there are so many picture we took... but hehehhe.. since I have lack ability in knowing how to adding picture in this post.. since I use it via picasa not in my regular way through blogger... so maybe next time I'll add the rest...

okay... see ya in my next post

C.U.R.H.A.T

mari kita bahas sesuatu yang lain kali ini... bosen kan ndengerin ocehan ato curhat h0n yang ga jelas... hehehehe...
kali ini mari kita bahas tipe curhat... tapi sebelumnya curhat tuh apaan sih??
hmm.. curhat kepanjangan dari 'curahan hati' yah berarti bisa dikata sebagai ungkapan hati... istilah curhat sendiri buat h0n itu lebih private... karena curhat biasanya tidak dilakukan dihadapan khalayak banyak *hmm... walopun ada beberapa orang yang melakukannya...kayak pers conference-nya artis ato yang 'sok ngartis' hehehe...*
pers conference sendiri buat h0n bukan curhat yang bener2 curhat, karena biasanya ada motif terselubung.. entah motif apakah itu.. yang jelas ada motif lah.. kalo ga ngapain curhat di depan umum? *ok we won't discuss about that since that I never had pers conference before :p*


karena selama ini h0n sering sekali oleh teman h0n dijadiin tempat curhat... (alhamdulillah h0n dapet kepercayaan untuk mendengarkan isi hati mereka.. percaya apa engga.. curhatan mereka itu membawa warna baru... entah itu masukan, pengalaman, atau bahkan hanya sebuah perasaan bahwa h0n dibutuhkan.. and it feels so nice to know that we are valued to some of friends), h0n suka curhat ga? hmmm termasuk suka curhat juga... tapi h0n sadar ga semua masalah kudu dicurhatkan dan ga semua orang kudu mendengar semua curhat... intinya.. sebelum melakukan curhat pasti ada filternya... dan filter ini disatu orang dengan orang yang lain pasti berbeda... karena itu h0n membedakannya dalam beberapa tipe curhat...


Tipe Tipe Curhat:

• kamu cukup dengerin ajah. jadi curhat model begini itu, kita cuma dituntut untuk mendengarkan saja, tanpa dituntut untuk kasih pendapat atau kasih judgement karena bakalan useless...nah dan ini itu sebenernya bisa dibagi dalam beberapa tipe lagi:
• dengerin ceritaku yah...kalo yang ini biasanya cukup mendengarkan cerita teman kita dengan seksama... mengkaji... dan memberikan respon... tapi jangan harap bakal dilakuin... dipikirin mungkin iya.. dilakuin kayak e engga..
• sini sini... aku butuh dipeduliin...nah kalo yang ini.. biasanya butuh extra perhatian...selain mendengarkan kadang kita perlu nunjukkin kalo kita ada... little bit hug.. it will help...
• aku butuh tempat bombay...kalo yang ini... biasanya pelaku curhat lagi bener bener emosi.. ato sedih... saking sedihnya sebenernya dia cuma butuh tempat cerita and buat nangis ajah... dan ini agak sulit biasanya karena dia nangis jadi agak sulit mencerna apa masalahnya...
• butuh tempat pelampiasan... kalo ini yang paling kejam... curhat sambil main fisik... biasanya kalo dah saking bete nya ma orang... dia bakal melakukan curhat sambil main fisik... seakan akan kita tempat curhat adalah orang yang disebelin... dan sebagai tempat curhat yah.. kita pasrah ajah lah.. sambil pinter2 ngeles.. hehehehe
• minta pendapat atau solusi... nah ini curhat yang agak dewasa... biasanya pelaku curhat memaparkan permasalahan yang dihadapi dengan harapan ingin meminta pendapat ato solusi... di sini peran kita bener dituntut untuk mampu mendengarkan, memahami... dan memposisikan diri...
• "aku butuh temen" yang ini sedikit berbeda... biasanya mereka yang melakukan curhat bukan termasuk orang yang biasa mengutarakan isi hati... atau orang yang ga mau orang lain tau permasalahannya.. tapi mereka tetep butuh orang lain itu memahami... yang paling dibingungi... gimana mo paham kalo ga tau permasalahannya... tapi berdasarkan pengalaman h0n... yang namanya curhat ya ga usah terlalu dipaksa... kalo ga mau curhat ya sudah... kalo curhat ya monggo... tapi biasanya yang model gini sebenernya butuh motivasi dari temennya... butuh kesadaran bahwa dirinya sebenernya ga sendiri tapi ada kita sebagai temen... kalo yang kayak gini.. lebih baik ditemenin ajah... didengerin ajah apa yang dia bilang (biasanya perumpamaan perumpamaan yang ga seberapa jelas.. tapi ya gitu dengerin ajah. so intinya... be there when your friend need you!
• 'pokoknya kamu tahu kan aku ada pikiran' nah yang ini hampir setipe dengan di atas... kalo di atas totally misterius kalo yang ini... biasanya pelaku curhat akan mengatakan tema atau inti permasalahan atau cuma topik permasalahan yang ada pada diri mereka... tapi setelah itu jangan harap dapat detail story... karena intinya dari curhatnya itu... ini aku lagi ada masalah... dan kamu tau kan sekarang kalo aku ada masalah... karena the next sentence setelah dia bilang inti atau topik curhatnya... dia bakal bilang ntar dech aku ceritain sekarang lagi ga mood atau alasan serupa lah... dan siap siap... jangan berharap untuk dapat detail story... yang kayak gini.. enak dia yang curhat dan bikin penasaran yang dicurhatin... tapi orang kan beda beda... diterima aja lah... ^^
• curhat setengah nah yang ini aku paling sering nieh... hehehhe... pengennya cerita... tapi ga pengen juga orang lain tau... hehehe... karena itu kadang ceritanya mbulet... hehehe... dan bikin bete yang dicurhatin karena biasanya mereka ga dapat inti permasalahan.. atau ga bisa kasih nasehat karena bingung apa masalahnya... hehehhe....

hue... ternyata panjang juga yah... ulasan di atas semuanya berdasarkan pengalaman... hanny seneng ajah sih dipercaya ma temen temen buat dijadiin tempat curhat... seneng karena bisa ada buat mereka disaat mereka butuh.. seneng karena bisa bermanfaat... 
hiyaaah.. dulu ada yang bilang 'kita kan teman berbagi...' hiyaaah kalimat itu masih terngiang bahkan mematri... *walopun mungkin yang ngomong kata-kata itu ga bersungguh-sungguh atau bahkan dah lupa* hehehehe... tapi kata kata itu mang dahsyat... ayo ayo... teman berbagi ku... I'm waiting... hehehe...

unwell...

hmm...
gimana kabarnya??
masih sering sakitkah tenggorokannya??
tuh madu diminum gih... *hiyaaaaaahhhh... have to stop this!!!*

don't you miss me...?

you... 
you are gift from Allah
to cheer my days
to hear my babbling
to make me laughing
to make me smile
to make me smile in my silence (hmm... hehehe)
to make me wish holiday is soon
to hear my moan
to make me listened...
to make me wondered
to make me impressed
to make me calmed
to make me worried
to make me upset
to make me cried

hehehe... I dont know why exactly you are away now...
but I know for sure... it is for something good...

"kau dulu tiada untukku, dan sekarang kembali tiada."

don't u miss me?? *coz I do*

When You Miss Somebody

Hey... how's today?? Uhm... I was searching for Tompi new song "tak pernah setengah hati" and then I found this song, sing by Tompi also... I'm very attracting by the title "when you miss somebody" hmmm... I like the title... when I miss somebody... so here the lyrics (I'l tell you how's the song after I download it.. okay...). I miss you... ^^

When You Miss Somebody - Tompi

As soft as a shadow
Dark as a dream
Look but don’t try to touch
A face in a mirror
A coin in a stream
A voice you miss too much

When u miss somebody...
When u miss someone...
When u miss somebody...
When u miss someone

The trouble with remembering
Is that we never can go back
The trouble with tomorrow
Is that I’m living in the past

I thought that I spotted
Your face in a crowd
I knew I must be wrong

The world’s spinning backwards
The noise is too loud
I find you in a song

friends in need are friends indeed *syalalalala...*

hey there...
now, is still working time (I know). but I dont know why... today, this office in this our is quite so calm and even too quite...

let me review for awhile... what I've been through passed days... okay, I've got heart attack.. hehehe.. "heart" attacked... but I feel thanks to Allah for having it now, before I dive too deep and realize I couldn't come to the the surface... and I guess he braves and fair enough to tell me... maybe he is the bravest one among others... and I know Allah has His Own plan for me... the happy one, I believe...and for him of course... still wishing for his happiness and his health (yeah his quite stubborn when related with his health....hufh)


sad... of course, who won't be... but I'm okay... just like I said before.. I believe Allah has His Own plan.. and I do really believe is for everyone happiness... and in this vulnerable situation I have... yeah I realize that my Ex.. yeah that Ex... gosh... he kind a make.. I dont know what the exact and best terms to discuss it...


okay, he ever seducing me in the plane, and I manage to success to be straight with him... and I guess my mistake somehow... he knew that I'm in sad coz breaking my heart again... and now... he comes again... and I know this is not good... not good at all... Gosh... I just too afraid that he seduce me again since knowing me so challenging for him...I'm tired...



then, sometimes I like to babbling in twitter... and hehhehe... my senior... hmm.. let's call him... mas sapu lidi's son... hehehhe... he notices my babblers... he respond... he asked me to talk in BBM... and the funny thing is... wakakkakkaka... his responds or his confused makes me laughing out loud... hehehhe... especially when he respond to my blabbing that I'm vulnerable, n I know he takes chances in my situation.. wakakkaka... he always curious about what my ex done to me... and he always think the dirty think... yiiaaaaks... when I asked why he always had dirty thought... he said that as an elder he didn't want my ex did something bad to me... *hueee melting.... I surprised actually there's lot of people care to me...* then he said but if that bad thing happened to beruang or probo then it's okay..... wakakaka... can stop laughing reading it...

hmmm.... I realized that lot of my friend care about me... and in returns I also should care bout myself... I'll try not to make them worry 'bout me... hey guysss.... I'm okay... I guess I'm already learned and won't do the same mistake...

stupid question ever!!

okay.. Now I know I'm happy breaking up with you
Now I know how relieve I am for not longer having feeling for you
Now I know how stupid I used to be to trusting you that much..for ignoring all my friend voices..
Now I know why God set our meeting and separate us in that way
Now I know how Allah love me that Allah gives those lesson..
Now I know how happy I am knowing all this

Snif snif.. There's one day that I made an appoinment with my Ex in airport so that we could wait and share taxi to indarung (since, I'm little bit paranoid with taxi if it comes a night)..
Everything was so great.. We could manage our seat in d plane.. And we had a nice dinner in airport.. We share story from where we had holidays.. It was so normal..

Our plane was delayed.. And we had time to share our story.. He told about his girl and his proposal to his ex (see..this is d reason we are not together again)
I told him I have complicated relation with my friend.. (Which he really not want to hear.. He I see as not a good friend.. When it is NOT HIM)
So.. I really happy with this conversation.. Coz.. It means we are normal.. And it is not awkward anymore..

But then in the plane.. Something not as my imagination occured.. Just like a big splash come in a very silent pool.. He asked me this surprisingly stupid question..
*how 'bout cheating for 5 minute, han*

Shocked...
And I feel so gratefull that we already broke up...

words from my work

what will be our topic discussion for today... Hm.. Lately I kind a have little issue in my work place..
I, Once again feel not get my call in here..I didn't feel the satisfaction in working..and the most awfull feeling is I feel like I am only a chicken baby..only do what the mother ask to do..
Some of my friend said that was good, you don't have to think hard right..but..once again I said.. That rule doesn't apply to me..
I love to make creation.. I love to think.. I love to make an idea.. I love that I can use my imagination in order to taking care a problem or issue..
I love those kind of things..

Hm..for now, I'm wishing for great patient.. I'm wishing for my best try in work..
And d most important thing.. I wish.. I wish Someone will take me out from here.. ^^
Amien..
Bismillahirrohmanirrohim

Jealousy approach T_T

I read it... and suddenly... hiksssss
a moment I know... I text my friend...

"aq cemburu hikkksss
:((
tiba2 ae dada ku sesek...
mataku kok jadi mulai berair
sekarang berkaca-kaca
Ini coba ditahan :(
*aq knapaahhhhh???*"


Astaghfirullah... what happens with me ya Allah...
it was just one or two sentence in my monitor... why it changed my feeling like this...
this is not the first time, but this is the second time in a month... with almost the same reason, same person... 
and I have never been in a big jealousy like this before... hiksss.... it is so hurt.... that sentence actually hurt me...the first time I felt this jealousy.. I bought my BB... hm... to cheer me up.. to keep busying myself with my friend in BB network... and I thought it works... but now... oh gosh... I still feel jealous by that little act...


I'm not supposed to be jealous (I realized) but I don't know why.. it just appears... I dont have the right to jealous.. and I dont have the reason to be jealous... but it just appears... T_T


I used to have a playboy boyfriend... but I never felt this much jealous like I have rite now... somehow... I always can maintain my jealousy... 
But now, I kind a lost control of myself... I cant maintain my jealousy... It is just exploding... so hurt... 


who is she....
what their relation?


(gosh... I feel like those jealous woman in the tv serial....) when you know exactly what make me jealous... maybe you laugh or wondering what's wrong with me.... *and I will asking that question to myself either... hiksss...*


have you ever jealous with your friend (this kind of jealousy)??


or... maybe I'm (deep down in me) hoping for more.... *Ya Allah... hanny knapah??*


I have to figure a way out... I cant let this jealousy ruin my mood in d future.. but how?
hopefully... I find a way out...


Bismillah...

one silly question

lately I kind a like to throw this question:

"Guys... I have one silly question.
Is it normal for friend holding hands?"


simple question, but will create a great conversation with friends. various responds I got by throwing it.. and all of them so funny and so thoughtful.. there was teasing respond... wondering respond... and so seriously taking the question's respond...


several of them answering by question, "have we ever holding hands, h0n?" ckckckck... and thanks GOD it's never!! xixixixi fact #1 we never holding hand (me and my boy friends).


some of them... teasing me... *let's ignored this type of answer :p *


then, we have this moment, me, beruang, deper, and kumun... were meeting in kodok and cimol's pre-wedding photo session which was held in our beloved campus. and since that we are group of narcis people, then... without any commando... we are the model of our own pre-wedding photo session... merrier, funnier, and so US!!! hehehhe...
and in one of the session, we took a picture of cheating couple... two session to be exact, the normal couples, and the gay couples. and we have our senior to take the picture *she's one of the hot female photographer... she creates so artistic picture.. so it was a lucky moment for us :) -let's call her ms.phographer*

so the cheating session started:
beruang as the playboy, me at first as the second lady *wooopss....* then deper as beruang's girl. ms.photographer lead us with several command... then when time to pose, I realized that i have to hold beruang's hand... *and yiaaaakkss... my feeling say no... I can imagine myself holding his hand.. wakakkaka.. just not right...* I shouted asking for re-role... hehhehe.. now, I'm the beruang's girl ^^ 
for me is it much more better for me... put my head near -so near- to beruang's shoulder than holding his hand...but still it feeling so *big* weird put my head near his shoulder... wakakkaka...
but it was... so nice session.... wakakkaka... so awkward but so nice pict... I think I don't have 'model' material... xixixiixixi...


when I asked to deper... how's the feeling.. she said the same... and thanks GOD I dont have to be her position, coz she had to do both posed (the holding hand and the put our head in his shoulder) hehehhehe...


but when I asked to kumun, how's his feeling holding beruang's hand.... he said happily... it is so nice... his so gentle... my heart beating so fast... hm... ^^ *that's my own version... hehehhehe*

so that was fact #2 it is so awkward when we have to holding hand

and in this morning... I throw the same question to my friend... then we had a nice morning conversation...he said it was normal, when he holding his friend hand... but since that I know.. actually he had feeling for her... that didn't count as normal one...

coz... how the situation are... we certainly won't do that kind of thing if we are friend... fact #3 is friend with no special feeling won't holding hands.


and then I realized... it feels so different when we're holding hands with friend in order helping each other, someone in a forced, and holding hands with someone we like... hehehehehhe...
of course it's much comfie holding hands with someone we like or love... and it will much comfie and right to holding our wife/husband's hand ^^


so guys....
I have one silly question.
Is it normal for friend holding hands?? 
^^